"Da Bears. Ditka. Forever."
Okay, so listen. You got your ticket stub from da game, right? Maybe Da Bears. Maybe Da Bulls. Maybe Da Blackhawks. Hopefully not da Cubsânah, I'm kiddin', da Cubs are okay now. Anyway, you wanna preserve dat memory forever, am I right? 'Course I am.
Option 1: Take a Picture of Da Stub
So you hit da plus buttonâand dis is beautifulâyou point your phone at da ticket stub and snap a photo. Boom. Dat image goes into dis decentralized storage ting called IPFS. You know what dat stands for? I don't know either. But I'll tell you dis much: it's tougher dan Ditka. Ditka could rip a phone book in half, but he couldn't destroy dis storage system. Dat's how solid it is.
Den you fill in da details. Da team, da opponent, da venueâwhich is hopefully Soldier Field, da greatest stadium ever built by human beings or Ditka.
Option 2: Use a Photo You Already Got
Maybe you took a picture at da game. Between brats. Between beers. Between mild heart attacks when da defense blew a coverage. Dat's fine! Just pull it from your photo library and attach it. Easy. Even Packers fans could do it, and dey're not known for deir intelligence.
Option 3: No Stub? Don't Have a Heart Attack
[clutches chest]
Whoa. Okay. I'm good. I'm good. False alarm.
Look, maybe you lost da stub. It happens. Maybe you sat on it. Maybe it's covered in mustard and your wife trew it out. Just do a manual entry. Type in what you remember. Da Bears beat da Packersâyou remember DAT, don'tcha? 'Course you do. Dat's all dat matters.
Oh, dis is important. You wanna get dis right. Like Ditka drawin' up a play. Which, by da way, Ditka's plays? Greatest plays ever designed. But I digress.
You can also add your seat, what you paid, da score if you remember it. All da details dat make da memory complete. Like da toppings on a Polish sausage. You want da full experience.
Okay, so dere's two kinds of tags, and dis is where it gets beautiful. Like a Sweetness run. Like Ditka's mustache. Beautiful.
Blockchain Tags (Da Permanent Ones)
Dese are carved in stone. Like da '85 Bears' legacy. You get tree of dem per memory. Tree! You know who wore number tree? Bronko Nagurski. Well, he wore tree in da old days. Dat's not important. What's important is you pick tree tags dat are gonna last FOREVER.
Use 'em for da important stuff: "DA BEARS." Da opponent. Maybe "DITKA" if Ditka was somehow involved, which, spiritually, he always is.
Once you mint dat memory, dese tags ain't goin' nowhere. Dey're permanent. Like my love for Chicago. Like my cholesterol levels. Permanent.
Application Tags (Da Flexible Ones)
Now DESE you can change whenever you want. Add as many as you want. Go crazy. "Greatest game ever." "Packers stink." "Had tree brats." "Minor cardiac event in da tird quarter." Whatever helps you organize your memories.
Dese are private. Just for you. Unless you wanna share 'em, which, why wouldn't you? You're a Chicago fan. You got nuttin' to hide. Except maybe your diet from your doctor.
OH. Oh, dis is da best part. Sit down. Have a brat. Listen to dis.
Dere's dis feature called "I Was There Too." Da app creates a special code based on da venue and da date. So if somebody else was at Soldier Field on da same day, watchin' Da Bears destroy whoever dey were destroyin'âyou can CONNECT wit dem. Find your people. Your fellow fans. Da ones who UNDERSTAND.
Imagine finding da guy who was sittin' tree sections over when Da Bears won. You could compare notes! Compare heart attacks! It's beautiful.
'Course, you control your privacy settings. If you wanna stay anonymous, dat's fine. Weird, but fine. I personally want EVERYONE to know I was dere. But dat's me.
[sighs heavily]
Look, sometimes you gotta travel to watch your team. I don't like it either. Leaving Chicago? Da greatest city in da world? But you do what you gotta do for da team.
So you're at some inferior stadium in some inferior city. Dat's okay. You can still add da memory. Take da picture. Fill in da details. Da app don't judge. Even if da stadium don't got proper brats. Even if da people dere tink dey know football. You preserve dat memory.
And here's da ting: when you use da "I Was There Too" feature, maybe you find anudder Chicago fan who made da same trip. Solidarity, my friend. Solidarity.
[clutches chest again]
Okay. Okay. Breathe. In trough da nose, out trough da mouth. Like da doctors keep tellin' me.
It's FINE. You don't need da physical stub. Just do a manual entry. You remember da game, don'tcha? Da Bears beat da Packers 34-14? Or whatever it was? Dat's what matters. Da memory. Da experience. Da four brats you had. Da mild arrhythmia during da two-minute drill.
Type it in. Preserve it. Done. No stub required. Ditka didn't need a stub to remember Super Bowl XX, and neither do you.
Permanent. Like Ditka's legend. Like Walter Payton's recordsâda ones dat should never be broken, even dough some of dem were, which, don't get me started.
It's minted as an NFT on da blockchain. Now, I don't fully understand what dat means. But here's what I know: it's decentralized. It's distributed. It's tougher dan Butkus. Tougher dan Singletary. Tougher dan a Chicago winter, and NUTTIN' is tougher dan a Chicago winter.
Your memories can't be deleted. Can't be lost. Even if da app company goes outta business, your memories survive. Dey're out dere on da network. Forever. Like Da Bears' dominance. Forever.
Okay, dis is a good question. Ditka, legendary coach, Hall of Famer, versus da blockchain, an immutable distributed ledger.
[long pause]
Ditka. Ditka by a million. But here's da ting: Ditka would RESPECT da blockchain. Because da blockchain is about toughness. Permanence. Stickin' around when udder tings fail. Dat's Ditka values right dere.
So really, Ditka and da blockchain? Dey're on da same team. Which means YOUR memories are protected by da spiritual equivalent of Ditka. Tink about dat.
Yeah, I got a few:
[long exhale]
Yeah, okay, fine. Dere's udder sports. Da Bullsâsix championships, greatest dynasty ever, MJ is da GOAT, don't even start wit me about LeBron. Da Blackhawksâgreat hockey town, Chicago. Da Sox, da Cubsâbaseball's fine, I guess.
Da app handles all of it. Basketball, hockey, baseball, even soccer if dat's your ting. I don't understand soccer personally, but da app don't discriminate.
You add da memory da same way. Picture, details, tags. Simple. Even a Packers fan couldâyou know what, I already made dat joke. But it's true.
More FAQs comin' for movies, concerts, and all dat cultural stuff. But let's be honest: sports is where it's at. Especially Chicago sports. Da greatest sports. In da greatest city.
Da Bears.
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